1 post tagged “etiquette”

So, Etiquette Hell is one of my favorite sites.  By the way, does "sites" bother anyone else?  Apostrophina, can we get your input here?  However, to return to e-hell, there has been a large incidence lately of people just wigging out.  One woman today not only insisted on calling society "the village", but was calling one man "village" or "villager".  Yes I get the reference to "It takes a village to raise a child", a phrase which is overused at best and incorrect at worst, (more on that in a second), but calling the man in the post "village" was just grammatically distracting.  She basically insisted that one should not have to censure oneself when going out into public.  That it is those people with whom one interacts who should choose to not continue association with one if unhappy with the way one acts.  I don't like to think what living in her world must be like.  Yes, I always say that if you don't like what's on television that is what the off button is for.  However, I think everyone has the right to live in a society where people are not going out of their way to be disgusting, offensive, rude, ignorant, and just plain mean.  Too bad the only thing I have is her screen name.  It would give me great pleasure to help her when she needs a tire changed, and then tell her who I am and say, "Nice to be part of your village now, 'scuse me while I spit on your car".  I'm not advocating violent acts and I would never do this, but hey if she is unhappy with my behavior, she should move her car, right?

So, the phrase.  Yes, all interactions in a child's life shape that life.  However, all interactions in anyone's life shape the life in question.  So couldn't you say that "it takes a village to raise an adult"?  If so, can't you just drop the phrase and explain it in terms of influences and the weights of those influences on life in general?

My "village", until I moved out of Chicago, was made up of the wonderful children and teachers of Alcuin Montessori School.  These influences were kind, understanding, and positive.  They convinced me I could be great at anything I tried.  Then my parents and I moved to a small, insular community and suddenly I was the smart, weird child who dressed and talked funny.  Then followed six years of hell.  Through middle and high school, I was systematically tormented on a daily basis by the popular group.   I had a hairbrush lodged in my very thick, unruly hair.  I had an egg thrown at me.  I was called names, gotten in trouble on purpose, mocked, poked, teased, and anything else you can do to a teenager was done to me.  It is a miracle I came out of high school whole. 

Yet, here I am.  Whole, unbroken, and a much, much stronger person.  I'm coming up on my tenth reunion.  My best girlfriend and I have a date to go to it.  It is the responsibility of each person to make sure the influence they exert on those they come into contact with is a positive one.  It is personal responsibility that will make the world and every person's lives a better place.  To advocate on an etiquette website anything to the contrary is just irresponsible.  It makes me glad I never caved to my tormentors.  It makes me proud to be strong.